


never meant to change the fire in your eyes

by fullmetalscully



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, Rescue Missions, Royai - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:28:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28172424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fullmetalscully/pseuds/fullmetalscully
Summary: Roy has always thought Hawkeye should be somewhere where she could be happy, far away from him and the destructive events that cling to and follow him like a poisonous fog. He can’t help but mourn the life she could have had. The life she deserves. There should be a million miles between them, a distance where Roy and his reputation can’t hurt her.
Relationships: Riza Hawkeye/Roy Mustang
Comments: 10
Kudos: 68





	never meant to change the fire in your eyes

**Author's Note:**

> idk what this is? it just came to me. i’ve been listening to REWIND by CL since it was released and one of the lyrics stuck inside my mind. the lyric really reminded me of royai so after a year i’ve finally got something written down that goes with it. hope you enjoy <3

**_never meant to change_ **

**_the fire in your eyes_ **

“Lieutenant?” His call holds as much authority as he can muster. His eyes scan the room dangerously, daring another assailant to jump out on him. There would be no mercy for them if they did. Not after what they’d done to his team.

There’s a muffled cry to his left. Roy’s head whips around and immediately he starts forward. Rounding the boxes stacked haphazardly, he comes across what he’d been looking for.

Or who.

Lieutenant Hawkeye is bound with cuffs and a gag in her mouth. There’s a red mark on her cheek from a blow that sets his body alight and turns his vision red. However she is not hopeless. Her eyes burn with indignation and ire as she rattles her wrist and jerks them, trying to break free from the restraints behind her back.

Swiftly and with a quick transmutation circle Roy sets her free. Once the gag is removed she coughs and scoffs in disgust. It looks clean but Roy is not completely sure. The thought makes him angrier.

“Bastards,” Hawkeye curses under her breath.

Eyes down, she looks at her red wrists and rubs them to ease some pain. Roy follows her gaze, but notices there’s something off. Her movements are jerky and so is her breath. She won’t look him in the eyes despite the fury he’d seen in them before.

“Hey,” he coaxes gently. His gloved hands reach forward and settle gently atop both of hers.

She flinches and it makes Roy’s stomach drop. But she doesn’t stop rubbing.

“Hey, Hawkeye?”

She still doesn’t lift her eyes. She huffs and sighs heavily but it’s shaky. Her body shudders with it. It unsettles Roy, making him wonder what exactly these people had done to her in the few short hours he’d pursued his kidnapped Lieutenant.

“Riza.”

This garners her attention. Her head jerks up and while her lips are pressed into a thin line her eyes are close to owlish and almost fearful. The fire is gone, fizzled out for the moment, now that she knows she’s safe and in good company.

Slowly Roy shifts his weight forward and grasps her chin with care. He’s pleased to notice Hawkeye lets him. She watches him silently, eyes begging for something, but Roy doesn’t know what.

“You’re all right,” he promises. “I’ve got you.”

Her head nods, a tiny movement, before another long sigh leaves her. Hawkeye’s eyes flutter closed and her body tips forward. Roy doesn’t care for propriety as he wraps his arms securely around her. It looks like she could use the support and he’s more than happy to provide it. With her face pressed into his jacket Roy works out the kinks in her hair, running his hands through it. Her clip has disappeared, and it leaves him crestfallen to notice that. It had been a gift. To calm himself and ward off thoughts of revenge against those who had left his dear Lieutenant so shaken, Roy tries to remember where he’d bought the hairpiece last time and wonders where he’d possibly be able to buy her a new one.

Hawkeye pulls away, now composed. Without a word he helps her to her feet. He had no idea how she was faring but getting to her feet seemed promising. However, with past experience, he remembers how she’s one to shoulder and bury everything to get through, leaving it to deal with once she’s alone. For her sake, Roy _hopes_ it is the former, that she is finally calm and ready, and not the latter. Regardless, he’d be right beside her to help. The question was whether she’d let him.

His hand gently grips her elbow, and he holds out his other hand for her to take. She can refuse if she wants to, but he still wanted to offer.

Her fingers slide in between his. A comforting weight. Roy gives them a squeeze as they begin to walk.

“Let’s get out of here,” he offers.

“Home?”

Roy’s lips purse. He wants her to see a doctor, but he knows he cannot force her.

“Wherever you’d like to go,” he replies.

Hawkeye nods and confirms that she’d just like to go home. The team is outside the building standing guard and waiting on an ambulance arriving. Roy had ordered it, just in case. Thankfully, it may not need to be used, however still he hopes it will appear in time for them exiting. Hawkeye may not like it, but she wouldn’t fight if the medics rushed to check her over.

They take the metal steps to the ground floor slowly. He holds on tight and remains as close as he can for support. They’re silent as they move but once they’re halfway down, Hawkeye speaks and breaks the silence between them.

“You’re not even supposed to _be_ here,” she scolds him quietly, but her knees shake and her body falters. Instinctively his hold tightens to catch her as she falls but once Roy realises the gravity of such a reaction his fingers grip onto her even tighter.

“You okay –?”

“Fine.”

Her reply is curt, and Roy thinks her bravado will be her downfall. Unhappy, he sighs quietly but lets it go for now. There’s no point arguing when she’s as shaken as she is. It’s barely noticeable. She hides it well. However the way her hands tremble gives her away immediately to him.

“Don’t ask me not to interfere when I know your life is in danger,” he replies to her reprimand.

As they take their time to walk down the steps she glances over at him out the side of her eye.

“After finding out what they’re after, the whole point was to keep your involvement hidden –”

“Again,” he interrupts, holding onto her tighter, “do not ask me to sit back and dismiss you and your welfare.” He turns his head to look at her, directly into her eyes. “I could never do such a thing.”

In an action that is so like her, Hawkeye sighs and shakes her head. She’s always looking out for him and his image, putting herself second. It irks him. That should never be the case. It’s in her character, burrowed deep into the marrow of her bones, especially after her actions in Ishval. It shouldn’t be, but it is.

Roy hates it.

“You watch my back,” he murmurs quietly, tipping his head so he’s almost speaking into her hair, “and I watch yours.”

He’s daring but he doesn’t care. Ever so gently, Roy presses a kiss against the side of her head. He needs to do it as much as she needs to hear it.

“I keep you safe,” she counters. Her argumentative tone has disappeared and in its place is one that’s softer. “So you can go on. For us both.”

“I cannot go on without you, Riza.”

It’s a risky declaration, but he’s in the mood for it. After discovering she was kidnapped for possibly having ties with flame alchemy, all bets were off. The men were looking for anything to go on, and who better to “ask” than the adjutant and close confidant of the Flame Alchemist himself?

He will accept the responsibility for this and shoulder the guilt, swallowing it deep inside of him with the rest. Because she didn’t deserve this. It had left her completely unsettled – which caused Roy’s anxiety and alarm to skyrocket – and seeing the result of it makes him feel even worse.

“I’m sorry if all of this was a reminder of –”

“It wasn’t.”

She fights him, again. His frustration swells inside his chest, but he lets it go once more. He’s too relieved that she’s all right to muster any kind of fight against her.

“Did they ask or find anything?”

Hawkeye lifts an eyebrow in derision. “As if I would give anything away, sir.”

“I –” Roy swallows his shame and embarrassment. “I know,” he quickly reassures. “I didn’t mean to –” He huffs to himself. “I’m sorry, that’s not how I intended that to come across. Did they…” He struggles to find the right words. “Did they _do_ anything?”

His breath is held tightly inside his lungs. He cannot let it free until he knows the answer. His exhale would either be fraught with fury or relief.

Understanding his question, Hawkeye shakes her head.

His exhale leaves him in a rush.

“Nothing,” she replies. “Nothing apart from a grilling about the alchemy and restraining me.”

His muscles tense because how dare they tie her up like they did.

“I’m sorry it happened to you,” he mumbles as they descend the last step, “it shouldn’t have.”

In response, Hawkeye is silent because what can she reply? Roy expects none but he needed to voice his thoughts.

It’s a loaded apology, both for the events that had transpired today and those that had occurred when she was a child. That damned tattoo on her back had been a burden from the start, but now it still had the potential to cause problems. Even after the agonising steps they’d taken together to hide and destroy it.

Roy’s eyes flutter closed briefly, cursing Berthold Hawkeye for his lack of forethought and desperation to preserve his work.

“They reminded me of him,” she whispers in admittance.

Her father.

She inhales, long and deep. “There was that same madness, that same look in their eyes…” She shudders and his heart breaks.

“I’m sorry.”

Despite the assurances he knew would be coming, Roy still feels miserable because of her revelation. Regardless of whether the tattoo was a choice or forced upon her, it had affected her life completely. It had been put in place so her father could pass his work onto someone she trusted. Berthold probably knew it would be going to Roy because there was no one else in her life.

He could have just _told_ him, Roy thinks angrily. It hurts to think about. She’d been used as a pawn in someone else’s game for his sake.

Roy has always thought Hawkeye should be somewhere where she could be happy, far away from him and the destructive events that cling to and follow him like a poisonous fog. He can’t help but mourn the life she could have had. The life she deserves. There should be a million miles between them, a distance where Roy and his reputation can’t hurt her.

“I’m okay,” she reassures, but Roy is stuck inside his head. He cannot help but doubt her.

“Roy?”

“I’ve caused you nothing but bother again,” he breathes. “I never meant for my actions and desires to drag you down with me. Ever.”

“That’s not your responsibility,” she shakes her head. “It’s my choice to follow you and I do it more than willingly.”

“But this _is_ my responsibility.” His voice is hoarse as he looks down at the ground in shame and sorrow.

“Never.”

The simplicity of the word drags him from the confines of his mind. He risks a glance at her, afraid of what he’ll see. But her expression is open and patient. There’s an understanding there because they are so alike after all they’ve gone through. Both too stubborn and both hypocrites. They preach the other should not blame themselves, and they shoulder the world for them instead. They cannot and refuse to follow their own advice.

“I’m _okay_ ,” she stresses.

Roy’s grip tightens on her, subconsciously holding her closer. “Are you sure?”

Hawkeye nods. “It’s all in the past. It’s all been dealt with. It was just a momentary shock.” Her eyes look into his. “I’m fine now,” she promises. “You found me,” she adds, as if that were the only solution she required to make her feel better.

A shuddering breath leaves him.

“I always will,” he vows.

A soft sigh passes by her lips. Ever so slightly, she leans into him. He removes the hand from her elbow and wraps it around her back instead to pull her close to his side. With him supporting her they walk out into the bright sunshine, seeing the medics already running across.


End file.
